08
I wake and see through my bedroom doorway that the kitchen light is on. The kitchen light shouldn’t be on. Like most people, I have a nightly routine. The kitchen light’s the last thing I switch off before going to bed. Now I wonder if I’ve forgotten to turn it off, or if there’s somebody in my little flat. Which is the likelier possibility? I might’ve forgotten to switch off the kitchen light. It’s possible, because everything is possible. But it’s unlikely. I’ve never forgotten it before. Also, I would not only have to forget to switch it off, but then jump into bed, switch off the bedroom lamp, and…
Twenty-Three
About ten years ago, I woke and was unable to move. I knew immediately I was caught in an episode of sleep paralysis. There was no sense of what time it was, the way there is usually when you wake unexpectedly. The room should’ve been dark, but it wasn’t; it was dim, but had a sepia tint. I felt something to my right – a concentration of unrivalled malevolence that I knew was watching me. Every panic attack I’d ever had, the fear of recovery after the car had hit me, the dread of awaiting test results when they’d initially thought my digestive issues were going to be much more…