The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ v. Arguably the worst side-effect of Aropax was that it dimmed my imagination – maybe not an issue to many, but for me it was about the worst thing that could happen. Prior to Aropax, I could sit down and write anything any time. I’d written previously through anxiety and depression. Now, I struggled. The thoughts flowed sluggishly. Once I got going, I was okay (but never as fluent as I once was), but it was like whatever doorway into my mind gave me access to my writing had mostly closed. Years later, I read about ruminations, which is to reflect or brood negatively and to rehash a…
The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ iv. As I resumed my daily life – and even went out a bit again – I decided to cull the Xanax and cut away the rest of it in the space of a couple of weeks. Going off the Xanax so rapidly, there were withdrawal symptoms – shortness of breath; and, worse, muscle cramps that tore through my body. That was to be expected. Xanax also acted as a muscle relaxant. In its absence, my body probably wondered what the hell was going on. To hell with it, I thought. This might’ve been a situation where, previously, I would’ve panicked. I would’ve obsessed with worry about what…