The Other Me
‘The Long Hard Fall’ iv. As my relationship with Allie deteriorated, the shadows of depression cast over the fringes of my mind. I took epic walks, and lamented my life, that I was nobody, nothing, that I wasn’t like ‘normal people’ (to whom Allie always compared me), who had jobs and security and all that, and questioned whether I ever could be. I got a referral to a work-placement agency that specialised in dealing with people with mental problems, and was assigned a case worker, Martina, who’d previously worked extensively in counselling. After several appointments, Martina said she felt I was ‘a little bit bipolar’. It wouldn’t have surprised me…
The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ v. Arguably the worst side-effect of Aropax was that it dimmed my imagination – maybe not an issue to many, but for me it was about the worst thing that could happen. Prior to Aropax, I could sit down and write anything any time. I’d written previously through anxiety and depression. Now, I struggled. The thoughts flowed sluggishly. Once I got going, I was okay (but never as fluent as I once was), but it was like whatever doorway into my mind gave me access to my writing had mostly closed. Years later, I read about ruminations, which is to reflect or brood negatively and to rehash a…