‘The Lurking Shadow’ vi. Departure was a battle with the fear of shortness of breath. My brother John drove me to the airport. Everybody in my family suspected I was going with Allie, even though we’d been broken up for months. When we got to the airport and she was nowhere to be seen, I found out later my brother rang my sister in-law, Christine, and expressed a fear that maybe I was flying up there to off myself in some way – like Nicholas Cage drinking himself to death in Leaving Las Vegas. My sister in-law checked the award on the net and found out it was for real.…