I’ve had surgery a few times in my life. The thought of it doesn’t worry me. It’s the post-surgery I’m apprehensive about – knowing I’ll wake up with pain. The anaesthesiologist told me what they’d be giving me afterwards, including the painkiller Ketamine. She told me not to be worried if I had hallucinations, or vivid dreams, which were possible side-effects. A popular side-effect, she said, was patients waking up and thinking their room was covered in grass.  Why would I be worried seeing that? They wheeled me into surgery, and again I was out of it quickly. The next I awoke was in Recovery, just when they were wheeling…

I had an idea I posed to one of the nurses when I was in hospital: coma surgery. A patient comes in, they’re induced into a coma, and filed into a drawer (like they use in morgues) until their surgery. This would be perfect for people like me, who had to wait ten days. After the surgery, they’re stuck back in the drawer until they’ve healed. Then they’re awakened, and sent on their way. I’m sure somebody unadventurous will point out the drawbacks of coma surgery, but I think it has a lot going for it. You don’t have to worry about hospital beds, about wasting hospital resources, and patients…