The Other Me
An ongoing serial about neurosis, beginning with anxiety that burgeoned through my teenage years, and grew into issues also with depression and OCD, amongst other things.
The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ iii. Over the years, I learned there are different types of antidepressants. There are the Tricyclic antidepressants, like Tofranil and Sinequan. Dr Jarasinghe told me that Tofranil was the ‘grandfather’ of antidepressants, and its use as an antidepressant had been discovered by accident. According to Dr Jarasinghe, it was designed and tried for tuberculosis, but in trials it was discovered that it improved mood. The MAOIs – the Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors – have lots of dietary restrictions and interactions with other medications. Aurorix is a MAOI, although (when I was on it) it was a very new MAOI, and didn’t have the same restrictions. Then there were a…
The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ ii. One night, I lay on the couch reading – just as I’d done many other nights. Wolf was curled in the chair opposite me, just as she usually was. Then the thought popped in my head to kill her. I saw it clearly: I’d rip her head off. The thought was beyond reprehensible, beyond unconscionable, beyond anything I’d known before, and it terrified me to think that I could be capable of thinking it. I sat up, told myself there was no way I was going to do that, but the violence and aberration of the thought remained, washed over me in a way that I couldn’t…