The Other Me
An ongoing serial about neurosis, beginning with anxiety that burgeoned through my teenage years, and grew into issues also with depression and OCD, amongst other things.
The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ v. Arguably the worst side-effect of Aropax was that it dimmed my imagination – maybe not an issue to many, but for me it was about the worst thing that could happen. Prior to Aropax, I could sit down and write anything any time. I’d written previously through anxiety and depression. Now, I struggled. The thoughts flowed sluggishly. Once I got going, I was okay (but never as fluent as I once was), but it was like whatever doorway into my mind gave me access to my writing had mostly closed. Years later, I read about ruminations, which is to reflect or brood negatively and to rehash a…
The Other Me
‘The Fugue’ iv. As I resumed my daily life – and even went out a bit again – I decided to cull the Xanax and cut away the rest of it in the space of a couple of weeks. Going off the Xanax so rapidly, there were withdrawal symptoms – shortness of breath; and, worse, muscle cramps that tore through my body. That was to be expected. Xanax also acted as a muscle relaxant. In its absence, my body probably wondered what the hell was going on. To hell with it, I thought. This might’ve been a situation where, previously, I would’ve panicked. I would’ve obsessed with worry about what…