29
I wake to the sense I’m sitting up, like I’m shearing free of my physical self, but it doesn’t want to let me go. When I was a kid, I read a lot about parapsychology, about the soul, the spirit, whatever you want to call it, leaving the body during sleep. There were a few times I thought this happened – once, floating next to the ceiling; another time, being propelled toward the wall; and multiple times like my physical body was reverberating. I’ve also repeatedly felt what I’m going through now, like I’m trying to tear myself out of an adhesive cradle, but as much as the possibility exhilarates…
28
I wake to a shadow at my bedside, a humanoid figure that’s a concentration of darkness. The pixilation typical to my vision is richer, but whereas in some cases I’m able to contemplate a whole progression of waking thoughts in that millisecond it takes me to start waking, this time there’s nothing but abrupt alarm. I shout, although I don’t know if it’s in panic or in warning. The shadow disappears. Then it’s me being awake. Fully. I check the time: just after 1.34am. And it feels like that, like it’s not too deep into the early morning. Most of these encounters occur around this time. There’d be a medical…